Purely Masturbatory

Miss feeling content. Now for better or worse, I am insatiable.

You won’t be disappointed.

At all

I can’t keep hitting these emotional highs and lows, it’s truly exhausting.

I’m glad it was so peaceful. I’m also glad to know that I love myself enough to do this.

What’s best isn’t easy…but it feels pretty good any way.

odilewiththedevil:

darklyinclined:

I’m ready to reclaim myself as Italian and put my americana on the back burner. I have no illusions of becoming some exotic European woman. I know I’ll always be American because I’ve spent 18 out my 22 years here, I’m so thankful for having grown up and been educated in this privileged country. However I’ve neglected my mother country, I’m barely proficient in the mash up of Sicilian and Italian that I do speak. It’s embarrassing to go to a conciliate and ask if they can speak English to me as I’m renewing my Italian passport. I’ll still live here but I’m going to make it a point to reclaim that part of myself (even if I am from the Italian equivalent of Alabama. No offense to Alabama, I’m sure it’s lovely). But I feel disconnected from my roots and I’d like to have a conversation with my family, who I miss very much. Also as a citizen I’m expected to vote in their elections, I’d like my vote to be an educated one and not just based on advice from my conservative father. So I’m going to start working at learning to speak the language, the real Italian language,  It was the first language I spoke as a baby so maybe it’ll come naturally? Who knows maybe this is an empty promise to myself, I make a lot of those. Either way I have enough time to learn the language at the moment so I might as well try.

That’s my identity crisis for this morning folks

Civadiamo.

(also going to learn to spell in Italian)

i’ll learn italian with you!

I’m looking for a good class i’ll let you know if i find one, if not them I’m jacking Rosetta stone (not the band)

ontheturnpike:

What is keeping me in this fucking city. I am bored and restless and have no solid reason to stay and every chance to leave next week.

I ask myself that every day.

I’m ready to reclaim myself as Italian and put my americana on the back burner. I have no illusions of becoming some exotic European woman. I know I’ll always be American because I’ve spent 18 out my 22 years here, I’m so thankful for having grown up and been educated in this privileged country. However I’ve neglected my mother country, I’m barely proficient in the mash up of Sicilian and Italian that I do speak. It’s embarrassing to go to a conciliate and ask if they can speak English to me as I’m renewing my Italian passport. I’ll still live here but I’m going to make it a point to reclaim that part of myself (even if I am from the Italian equivalent of Alabama. No offense to Alabama, I’m sure it’s lovely). But I feel disconnected from my roots and I’d like to have a conversation with my family, who I miss very much. Also as a citizen I’m expected to vote in their elections, I’d like my vote to be an educated one and not just based on advice from my conservative father. So I’m going to start working at learning to speak the language, the real Italian language,  It was the first language I spoke as a baby so maybe it’ll come naturally? Who knows maybe this is an empty promise to myself, I make a lot of those. Either way I have enough time to learn the language at the moment so I might as well try.

That’s my identity crisis for this morning folks

Civadiamo.

(also going to learn to spell in Italian)

and i don’t care what you think of me for liking it!

please stop cutting my hours!!! I need to pay my bills and 4 hours a week aint doin’ it! I don’t think you can even consider that part time… thats like quarter time or something absurd like that.

up side I have an interview tomorrow for  set design position, hoping that goes well!

and i guess it’s time to apply to more jobs…in Chicago where there are NO fucking jobs to be found…pretty cool!

he had a medical degree, at one point in history abortion was illegal (i need to check my facts on exactly when and where), he gave illegal (and safe) abortions to women during this time (sure maybe he made a mad buck off it too) either way he basically said fuck you to a system that took women rights away and provided services any way putting his career and life on the line.

I don’t know my great uncle very well because he’s also somewhat of an old bastard that didn’t care much for family ties either way i always thought it was a good thing he did back then.

oh yeah and pro life/anti choicers…you don’t care to hear my opinions and i could give a fuck about yours, nothing personal, I think we just agree to disagree.

jobefish:

phantasmagasm:

lattershed:

this 12% unemployment nonsense is crushing my soul. jobs are nowhere to be found. this is my biggest motivation to leave chicago - to find better paying work elsewhere.

SERIOUSLY. Unemployment is UNREAL.

Yeah Chicago is seriously fucking dumb like that, within a week of being back in San Diego I have like 3 jobs lined up, 2 years in Chicago and I found 1 lame ass Bussing job.  Get the fudge out of that place :P

indeed won’t be here long thats for damn sure

phantasmagasm:

darklyinclined:

I’m not sure how I feel about anything anymore, the things I’m sure of are so far off they are no longer in my line of sight. I’m grasping, reaching and collecting fist fulls of air. I cry into a vacuum, it sucks every drop of fluid from my eyes. there is no certainty anymore, no solid ground.

I’m here, a creature on the earth writhing around with a million others just like me, trying desperately to separate myself.

I love you Nadia. I’ve been in a weird place too, lets get together soon. As in tomorrow.

oki i’ll hit you up later today

I’m not sure how I feel about anything anymore, the things I’m sure of are so far off they are no longer in my line of sight. I’m grasping, reaching and collecting fist fulls of air. I cry into a vacuum, it sucks every drop of fluid from my eyes. there is no certainty anymore, no solid ground.

I’m here, a creature on the earth writhing around with a million others just like me, trying desperately to separate myself.

odilewiththedevil:

rat-face:

• any asda french/aussie beers
• Becks
• carlsberg
• co op czech lager
• heineken
• miller genuine draft
• pabst
• most Sainsburys beers
• samuel smiths
• samuel adams

Cue week of misery, possibly a whole year of it…